How to Politely Decline a Handshake

Let's shake on it? Let's not…

In an attempt to tamp down the spread of the novel coronavirus, which the World Health Organization has officially declared a pandemic, people everywhere are hyper-vigilant about keeping their hands clean. As a result, hand-shaking is under extreme scrutiny, with unofficial and official recommendations against it cropping up all over. In fact, Canada's Minister of Health reportedly predicted we'll be bumping elbows a decade from now because of the current outbreak. But old habits die hard, and the tradition of shaking hands as a gesture of goodwill goes back centuries, so it's no surprise that grinding it to a halt has proven a little awkward.

How awkward? Earlier this week, concluding a televised press conference to announce a "no handshake" rule, the Dutch prime minister, Mark Rutte, shook the hand of the head of infectious disease control at the Dutch public health board. Much fumbling ensued. But Rutte is not the only high-profile figure who's having a hard time retiring the handshake. Others have likewise goofed, while Donald Trump has outright refused to stop shaking hands.

All of this begs the question: What should you do when faced with the outstretched hand of a well-intentioned person? For those who want to keep their hands to themselves without losing face, we did some research and created this three-step handshake-declining protocol:

1. Acknowledge the awkward

Whether it's a high-five, fist bump or handshake, leaving someone hanging is uncomfortable. No matter how you handle it, it is a definitive rejection. Thus, some version of "I know this is awkward, but…" could help put the other person at ease.

2. Explain your position

You are breaking a social contract, so offering an explanation is a good idea. You don't have to rattle off stats or offer apologies. Craft whatever response feels authentic to you, and practice it in advance (you don't want to be caught tongue-tied in the moment). Here's ours: “With the coronavirus spreading – better safe than sorry!" *insert shrug here*

3. Suggest an alternative

All manner of hands-free greetings have emerged, including foot taps and the aforementioned elbow bumps. Whatever speaks most to you, offering up an alternative can help you and the other person put any initial discomfort behind you.

Do you have any suggestions for traversing this tricky social situation? We'd love to hear it. Leave a comment to share your thoughts.