Languish No More: Expert Tips for Flourishing

With more than a year of COVID-19 under our belts, many of us are emotionally and physically weary — in a word, we're languishing. We're not depressed, but we're not flourishing, either, as we muddle through on autopilot.

We've all experienced fair-to-middling days, which typically pass of their own accord. Yet studies have shown that persistent languishing can come with hidden long-term risks to our future physical and emotional health, as well as to our decision-making and ability to work.

Sociologist Corey Keyes coined the term "languishing" in 2002 to describe people who weren't clinically depressed but who were also not thriving. He discovered that those individuals were at higher risk of developing depression or anxiety in the future. He proposed that, like physical health, mental health should be seen as a complete state. In other words, mental health is not simply the absence of mental illness but of flourishing: feeling good about life and functioning well overall.

Feeling positive about life leads to optimal functioning—in both the short and long term. According to the "broaden and build" theory developed by social psychologist Barbara L. Fredrickson, positive emotions such as joy, interest, contentment and love broaden our mindsets, build our personal resources (including our physical, intellectual, social and psychological resources) and give us the reserves to be more resilient in the face of setbacks. And while negative emotions are associated with narrowing our attention, which increases our chances of missing the bigger picture, positive emotions can expand our creative problem-solving—a boon for anyone, including investors.

Fortunately, there are many proven techniques for creating an upward trend into a healthier and happier state. Here are a few—with some personal takes from a few RBC colleagues who have been putting them into practice.

You're the Expert on You

When people ask "How are you doing?", the reflexive answer is often "Great!" To uncover how you are really doing, go beyond the superficial and socially prescribed response. To quick-start your self-inquiry, try Professor Tyler J. VanderWeele's 12-question assessment of physical, mental and emotional well-being, available at Harvard University's Human Flourishing Program website.

"No one is allowed to answer 'great' if they really aren't," says one colleague about the daily group chats she's held with friends throughout the pandemic. "We try to be really honest with each other." As for knowing yourself, a project manager says "eating properly is key for me as far as keeping a healthy outlook, because it gives me more energy to do other things." For another colleague, routine and personal time are critical. "I spend the first hour of the day focusing on myself," he says, "whether that's reading, meditating, going for a walk or doing something positive around the house—no email, social media or news allowed."

Name It

One hallmark of languishing is the feeling of being in a bit of a fog. Cut through the haze by naming the issue. This is often the first positive step toward better mental health. If you think you've been languishing, acknowledge it and know that you're not alone. You can then take the necessary steps to improve.

One executive shares that she's a big fan of starting small and building momentum from there. "Not everything has to be a big win. Sometimes languishing comes from feeling like everything is too much, but breaking things into smaller pieces can often make them seem less overwhelming. And celebrate those small wins!" That can apply to investing, too. Another colleague says that sometimes she gets stuck and doesn't know what to do next with her investments, "but starting small can help build momentum and can make decisions feel less daunting."

Tiny Gifts

Research shows that noticing and appreciating small moments—what psychologists label "savouring"—enhances our well-being. In her book, Keep It Moving: Lessons for the Rest of Your Life, award-winning dancer and choreographer Twyla Tharp recommends expecting to encounter a miracle each day. As she says, "I don't need much and I don't know what it will be, but I always expect to find something. So I look for it, which increases the chances of success." Like regular dividends from investments, small pleasures and moments of contentment and appreciation add up.

Flow With It

The positive psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi coined the term "flow" to describe the mental state of being so absorbed in an activity—often one that pleasantly challenges our skills—that we enjoy doing it for its own sake. Any activity, not only obviously creative ones, can generate a state of flow when we're truly engaged with it. Consider what types of activities bring you satisfaction, and carve out some undisturbed time to do them. Studies have shown that those individuals who were more engaged in their activities during the early days of the pandemic not only avoided falling into the state of languishing, but they also kept their pre-pandemic levels of happiness.

For one colleague, getting creative in the kitchen has given him a new focus. "My girlfriend and I can't go on dinner dates with everything closed, so we cook something new or fancy at home, light candles and get dressed up."

Give Kindness

As important as it is to be compassionate with ourselves, showing kindness to others leads to feelings of happiness, optimism and a sense of purpose. In one study of 13,000 adults, those who volunteered about two hours a week reported more positive emotions than non-volunteers. Stacking good deeds onto everyday tasks is an easy way to make doing good a habit.

"With family gatherings significantly pared back, we delivered Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner to a neighbour who we knew wouldn't be able to join another household to celebrate. It was a small gesture, but one that absolutely brought happiness," says another teammate.

Invert the Problem

A novel way of solving the problem of languishing is to follow Charlie Munger's advice: Invert, always invert. Munger is vice-chairman of Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway. Inspired by German mathematician Carl Jacobi, who often solved complex problems using this method, Munger recommends thinking about a problem both forwards and backwards to stimulate creative solutions. For example, instead of thinking about what you could do to flourish, develop a strategy to ensure you languish. Your list would probably include things like sleep all day, watch the news right before bed, don't exercise, eat junk food, be pessimistic, etc. Now you know what not to do!

Another take on inverting might mean shaking up your daily routine to shed the ho-hums. That's what works for this co-worker: "I know that sitting all day is bad for me, so I'll go for a walk at different times in the day, and I'll try to be on my feet as much as possible for activities like gardening and painting."