On Our Minds: Dr. King on Doing ‘Heart Work’ and Making it Personal

“You don't have to be me. You don't have to be your father. Just be your best self," Dr. Bernice A. King, daughter of Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King, remembers her mother telling her repeatedly.

“Sometimes I'll look back on something and feel like I didn't do all that great," she said during a recent RBC event celebrating Black History Month. “But then I remember that in that moment, I did my best."

Dr. King is chief executive of The King Center in Atlanta, Ga., an organization focused on educating youth and adults around the world on the nonviolent principles and strategies modeled by her parents. With a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and a Master of Divinity and Doctor of Law, Dr. King is a global thought leader dedicated to helping create a more just, humane, equitable and peaceful world.

Hearing Dr. King speak on topics ranging from family legacy and driving change to the importance of education and rebuilding trust was an honour. Here are six of our favourite motivational insights shared by Dr. King that are helping us look at things differently.

Do the 'heart work'

Driving change is never easy, but it's nearly impossible if we're not leading with our hearts, Dr. King believes. “We can make tweaks and we can try new things," she says, “but if our hearts aren't in it, the sustainability won't be there."

Avoid assumptions

To overcome issues of inequity, Dr. King says it's key to understand all the facts instead of relying on long-standing, ingrained opinions. The first step in doing so is information gathering, she says. “We make too many assumptions in this society," she says, often drawing our conclusions based only on what we know so far.

“We've got to identify the critical resources…because if we're going to correct something, you have to know the history of it," she says. “If we don't understand the facts, then we're just approaching things based merely off of a bunch of opinions. And that can be very dangerous."

Make it personal

“We have a lot of differences. But regardless of all of that, we are a part of a human family. And we are interconnected and interrelated," Dr. King says. And when we start to think that way, she says, we start to take things personally. “When I take something personally, I typically will invest my time and my energy, and go as far as I need to go to make sure that I'm showing up and doing what needs to be done."

To expand this further, she explores the term “allyship" and explains how the concept can “represent you coming to my aid, to help me with my problem. The issue is that these are our problems," she says. “Yes, we have different faiths, different cultures, different genders and different religions, but we're all in the same boat."

Be curious

The key to listening, she says, starts with curiosity to understand what we don't know. “Peace really starts with curiosity." Dr. King believes her father would say that society today is still not listening.

“We're definitely not listening to each other," Dr. King says. “We're listening to our own voices, our own groups, our own beliefs – we're not opening ourselves up to really listen to what people are trying to say." She encourages people to “talk without being offensive, listen without being defensive."

And, remember, there is more than one way to learn. Dr. King realized early on that she is a visual learner. “It took me three times to pass the bar because I don't test well on standardized tests," she says. “I think it's important that we recognize that people learn differently," she said when asked how the education system needs to change to help drive success for Black students.

Create access and opportunity

When asked separately about financial skills and managing money in underrepresented communities, Dr. King believes this is an area where more education is badly needed.

“Things are happening, and other people in other communities are accessing these opportunities," she says. “But I know in the Black community, that's not the case. We're not plugged in."

Dr. King says that while many nonprofits are following through on delivering financial-literacy programs to the community, there is a general lack of knowledge around important steps such as where to get a business loan, and that is a barrier to entrepreneurship.

“It seems to me that the literacy is one side," she says, “but helping them to know where to look, that's a real serious problem and disconnect in the Black community. About funding their businesses, the best place for them to look into savings plans – you have to be able to research all that and it's important that communities are also plugged into those places where they can find out more."

Work together

“Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle," Dr. King says, quoting her father. “Realistically, none of us gets anywhere on our own merits. There are people contributing to our personal lives helping to develop us, but there are other people who've come before us, paving the way to open up doors."

“There are many people who have been fighting vigilantly for these opportunities, especially for Black people," she says, stressing that this movement has to continue on an everyday basis. “We can't take it for granted."